Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Campaigner Challenge #2 - The Angry Dance of Spirits

The Angry Dance of Spirits


The Cree were the first to notice. They called it the ‘Dance of Spirits’; mystical curtains of aqua illuminating the heavens. When the O-zone layer disappeared, the curtains morphed into angry yellow orange spikes, exploding in the dark skies like fireworks.
The electro-magnetic sky transfigured the water. What was once liquid became gelatinous and undrinkable. Those who tried suffocated, those who resisted died of dehydration.
The gelatinous water sunk beneath the earth’s crust, pushing up the ocean floor. The sea became vast deserts of stinking dead sea creatures and trash. Gangs of scavengers formed, searching for pure water encased in metal, the only thing the electro-magnetism cannot penetrate.

We huddle under the graffitied remains of a concrete bridge, waiting for the deadly sunlight to fade. Kai tends to the jagged cut to my left shin. I’m still able to bleed; a good sign.

He reaches into our bag of medicines, finds the picture I hid . A smiling boy chasing a ball. In the background are acres of water.

Kai swallows convulsively, licking his cracked lips, suffering silently. I take our precious canteen. Before he realizes what I’m doing, I douse his hair, hoping it will break his fever.
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I'm entry #42 here if
http://www.rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2012/03/second-campaigner-challenge-of-my.html
Here are the parameters:
There are five prompts: the four photos above and the following:
Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair.

Do one or more of the following:
  • Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts - I picked this one and just so you know, I'm at 199 words. Had to take one out to come in at less than 200.
  • Write a pitch/logline for a book based on the prompts (less than 100 words)
  • Write a poem with a twist using the prompts as inspiration (in less than 200 words) - poetry? Um, no.
  • Write a story/poem in five sentences, each sentence based on one of the prompts
  • Write a poem/flash fiction piece (in less than 200 words) about the water pear *without* using the words “pear”, “spoon”, or “droplet”.

For added difficulty/challenge:
  • Complete at least three of the above activities and tie them all together with a common theme (feel free to either state the theme in your post or leave us to guess what it might be)
I'm only doing one activity but my theme is an environmental, 'don't mess with mother nature' theme.
  • Write in a genre that is not your own
Yes, trying a dystopian, sci-fi genre instead of contemporary YA that I normally write.
  • Ask Challenge entrants to critique your writing. After the Challenge closes, you may wish to re-post your revised piece(s), and I’ll include a Linky List at the bottom of this post for those wishing more feedback on their revisions (note: revised entries will not be judged, so please label clearly your original post and your revisions. Please do not offer critique unless someone asks for it, as per the usual blogging conventions. If you do ask for critique, make sure you ask for it clearly so people know you want it, and please be prepared to receive feedback that may not be 100% glowing. If you are a critiquer, please be tactful and courteous, and remember to provide positives as well as negatives.)
Gonna skip this one. I have plenty of work that needs critiquing. Have to save my requests for that.

46 comments:

  1. Awesome entry! Love the way you worked the different prompts together :)

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  2. Wonderful job! I love how you incorporated the prompts. :)

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    1. Thank you Cherie. Appreciate the kind words.

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  3. I think you did a really great job. You used the prompts and crafted an interesting little story here.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by. Yeah, had a really hard time trying to tie them all together.

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  4. Woot Woot! Great job blending them all in.

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  5. Loved the story idea and you did a great job of tying them all together. Well done.

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  6. I loved how well this story worked! And the ending was touching--so simple! Great job!

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    1. Thanks very much for the kind words

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  7. Excellent job! You weaved together all the prompts so smoothly.

    Michelle

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    1. Thanks so much for the kind words!

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  8. Phew! You nailed it. Really great work. I agree with everyone above--way to get all those prompts in there ;)

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    1. Thank you Morgan! Congratulations on your win! Well deserved!

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  9. I love the set up you have here with the prompts, you flow really well from one to another and play with fun science ideas.

    #38

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    1. Thanks. Yeah, no science brain cells were harmed in the writing of the above.

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  10. Really nice job! I think the prompts had us thinking in the same direction.

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    1. Yes, we did seem to go in similar directions. Thank you for visiting.

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  11. Wow, how did you manage to put everything together? Nice post ! I love Hello Kitty ! Mew

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! Yes, love my cats.

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  12. Fabulous story! I love it. What wonderful and inspirational pictures. I love seeing the different ideas coming from this. Yours is so cool and it flows. Awesome job!

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    1. Thanks so much! Only one exclamation point?
      lol ;)

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  13. OK.. I just love this. I'm a sucker for stuff that includes realistic bits of history, in fact both of my WIP's have true historical aspects.. one of them Native American.. so reading the start of this just felt like home to me. I'm a sucker for people who do research before they write. Big ole 'like' from me!!

    Kevin, (#19)

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    1. Wow, I'm honored! Thanks so much for stopping by.

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  14. Congratulations! You have been shortlisted to move onto stage two

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    1. Wow, Thank you so much!

      Not that I'm kissing up or anything but I love your name. Rek. Rek and Kai. I think I just name the main character of the piece...

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  15. Well done, nicely tied together!

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  16. I really liked how this flowed from one prompt to the next, it was very interesting and I especially liked the opening.

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    1. Thanks very much. The kind words mean a lot.

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  17. I hope it broke his fever!! Such sadness and yet hope that she cared more for him than herself.

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  18. Very interesting... I love your take on the prompts!

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  19. Very interesting... I love your take on the prompts!

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    1. Thank you! Appreciate the visit and taking time to comment.

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  20. Wonderfully done. You tied them all together ingeniously. Loved the idea.

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind words!

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  21. I'm so impressed with this. I particularly loved the details--it was dessert for my senses.

    Congrats! You've been shortlisted to move onto the Finals!

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    1. Oh wow! Fantastic news and great start to a Friday. Thank you for the kind comments.

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  22. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Great description. You grabbed me in the beginning and held me hostage 'til the end. Great job.

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    1. Thank you so much! I greatly appreciate the kind words.

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  23. Hey Fairview, this is a really moving story, and great use of the prompts :) Congratulations - I've awarded you seventh place in the Judging Round! Make sure you check out my post to see the cool prizes you've won :)

    Congrats again!

    Hugs,

    Rach

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and glad to see your internet is back up!

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