Friday, September 23, 2011

Lacuna Ferratta Imago Dei

I put the fist-sized rock on the counter. “I understand you’re an expert in antiquities?”
 
The shopkeeper nodded, placing the stone on a mirrored tray and examining its strange markings with a magnifying glass.

Lacuna Ferratta,” he gasped.

“Is that like Hakuna Matata?” Alex snarked. I jabbed him in the ribs.

“Ancient stone tablet. It is map to ‘Imago Dei’, Image of God.”

Alex yawned. I gave him a dirty look.

“If you feel deposed to oscitate, you should wait outside.”

“Huh? English, Duchess.”

“If this is boring, you can--”

“No, you didn’t let me get any sleep last night,” he winked knowingly at the shopkeeper. I blushed, despite the untruth inferred.

“Imago Dei has power to change man to beast.”

“Shape shifting?” Alex came alert.

“This and the mate are missing pieces of map. That is why they are ‘lacunae’, the gaps.  Ferratta was holy man. He hid the stones.”

“Why?” A miasma of dread surrounded me.

“The Imago, it is evil.”

“Fine, we’ll get a jackhammer and pulverize it,” Alex said.

“I think not.” The shopkeeper suddenly spoke perfect English. A silver pistol appeared in his hand. “Call it synchronicity. The other lacuna resurfaced in Alexandria yesterday.”

34 comments:

  1. Oh! I love how we've walked right in on the action here, and the sudden change of mood in the last line. I want to read more!
    Mine is #3.

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  2. Nice job! Love how you played with the words, and the change of mood! Great!

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  3. You've got me curious! I want to know what happens. :)

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  4. Ha ha. Hakuna matata. I must be a teenager at heart (or not as smart as a fifth grader) because that's exactly what I thought about Lacuna Feratta too! Like Alynza, I'm curious now.

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  5. Ooooh! Loved it! Gave me chills at the end! I'm with Alynza, I want to know what happens next, too! Great job using the words!

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  6. Oh, I love the ending. The Accent disappears (for some reason I then hear an English accent in my head... is that odd?)
    Great little story, but I want to know more.

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  7. Interesting plot you could have a decent sized short story here or even a novel - Great job!

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  8. Great job, you kept me curious. Mine is #29

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  9. Loved how you used the words! And the ending, too, didn't see it coming.

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  10. OH, that was excellent! Loved the way you used the words, and the sudden jolt at the end.

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  11. This was fantastic, I loved it all the way through! The Hakuna Mattata thing made me laugh out loud! Nicely done, what a great scene you've created in just 200 words!

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  12. Thank you for the nice comments. Hakuna, Lacuna, tomato, to-mah-toe...

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  13. I totally want to read more from this. The pacing was spot on! Very creative take on using the challenge words (and going one further to rework them together!). Brilliant job!

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  14. ooo, good story and great characters!

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  15. I love how you put that together! Very clever.

    The Write Soil

    My entry is #50.

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  16. Okay, now I want to read more.

    Great piece!

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  17. Great opening here and action throughout;)

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  18. Very nice! I liked the story (and Alex!). I am #92

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  19. Too funny! Love the fantasy aspect and ended with a twist!

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  20. That was cool. The dialogue exchange and tagging, very good. I'm curious what the shopkeeper is about to do with that pistol.

    Great job, Fairview! :)

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  21. Lacuna does remind me of Hakuna Matata. LOL. Great. Nice job!

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  22. Oooh, nice job! The similarity of lucuna and hacuna was cute!

    I'm following you now. ; )

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  23. Completely hooked and want to know more. Great job! I love the dialogue.

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  24. Great dialogue. Things flowed smoothly to hook me at the end. Good job! :)

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  25. Thank you kind readers. I have read your entries as well. Such talented people. I have tried to leave comments. If I have not, it is only because I don't subscribe to wordpress, livejournal, AIM, etc or I can't figure out how to leave a comment...

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  26. Alrighty, I'd like the rest of the story now..the full-length 100K version. Please.

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  27. Excellent!!! You fit so, so much into this tiny little tale. Background on the stone, the prickly relationship between the two characters with possible hidden feelings, the shifty shopkeeper, and a cliffhanger (noooooo!). I'll say it again - excellent!!!

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  28. I enjoyed the dialogue with the use of those tricky words and the ending has me curious. Loved Lacuna Ferratta! Well done.

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  29. Great tension and pacing in your writing ! And I loved the cliffhanger ending !
    My entry at no.#185

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  30. Fine job, fine fine job, a mystery - I love mysteries. Clever word usage and locating the campaign words by highlight...great idea.

    It was fun and quite a good story. You have talent.

    #188

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  31. thanks everyone for stopping by and leaving such ego-boosting comments!

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  32. Oh! I want to know how they get out of the situation. Please continue...lol. A very unique and wonderful take on the challenge!

    #189

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